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The suction cup base, which is also harness-compatible, is super secure, so you can attach it almost anywhere—the floor, a chair, the shower wall. It’s also completely waterproof (I’ve had this thing in the shower more times than I can count, and it still works flawlessly). You can use the suction and vibration functions independently or combine them for extra oomph. There are five suction intensities and five vibration patterns, so there’s a ton of combinations to play with. Each shaft has 10 vibrating speeds, and the bulbous, textured heads make it perfect for internal and external stimulation.

They’re going to have sex lives at some point