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An acquaintance asked me my age, and I responded without even thinking. Maybe it’s because I’m a liberal arts major and math is tricky, perhaps I just forgot, or maybe I’m an idiot. I am 38, which sounds older than I feel, at least most of the time. Be the first to know about new product launches, CRAVE Culture editions, and exclusive drops and offers.

Submerge it in warm water or cool it off by putting it in the fridge or freezer before using. Made for the G-spot, it has four ribs for contact, and is insertable for up to seven inches. “These toys can be controlled via app or remote, which helps build the excitement before intercourse or even allows for an extra exciting night out on the town,” Rief says.

Of course, this toy is also suitable for solo play when bae isn’t available. Unlike other bullet-style vibes, this one features more rumbly (than buzzy) sensations with five intensity levels and five pattern modes. Plus, it’s waterproof and discreet shape make the Pom “one of the most travel-friendly vibrators I’ve tried,” according to our tester. Bullet vibrators tend to be a go-to sex toy for couples because their compact size makes them unobtrusive additions to partnered sex, no matter how much you move around.

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As Engle says, “Any toy can be used as a couples toy,” so it may be helpful to expand beyond the mindset of products that put an emphasis on use during penetration only. Or perhaps you might want to start out with something as simple as a massage oil candle rather than motorized toys. Ultimately, of course, communication is key to figuring out what you’re both comfortable with—and the type of products that you’ll each derive the most pleasure from. Using a lubricant can increase your enjoyment during solo or partner play, but not all types are created equally. “You can’t go wrong with water-based lubricant, because it’s kind of like the jack-of-all-trades lube and it’s compatible with all your toys,” says Engle.

They corresponded over nine months while attempting to formulate the ideal silicone