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Ancient Egyptian paintings dating back to 3,000 BC depict women wearing phallic objects and paying tribute to gods. ‘Female representations with highly accentuated sexual attributes are very well documented at many sites, but male representations are very, very rare,’ explained Professor Conard 1. For nonporous, non-motorized toys, throwing the toy in the dishwasher is also a possibility, according to Stubbs. Regardless of the material of your toy, you should be washing that baby before and after each use.

That said, don’t let this derail you from getting what you want. You aren’t setting your kids up for years of therapy just by ordering a dildo. If they do discover your toys, they won’t be traumatized or scarred for life