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Teens and preteens will always snoop through your room at least once, so if you don’t want them to discover your toys, you’ll need a lockbox, safe, or even just a closet that’s always locked. In my time as a sex therapist, I’ve found that couples who are open about their sex toys have better sex lives. If you’re starting your sex toy journey, you should involve your partner as much as possible. I like the idea of getting them a sex toy for Valentine’s Day, a special occasion, or even just a surprise gift.

“They should be cleaned before and after each use, even if you haven’t used them in a while,” she says. When you’re ready to test your toy, you might want to set the mood. Pick a comfortable, quiet place like your bedroom, lower the lights, and queue up a sultry playlist. Start by turning on the vibe to its lowest setting and trailing it across your erogenous zones (nipples and neck, for example) and then down your body. It can also feel pleasurable stroked against the penis and anus. Check out Educator Lisa Finn’s picks and discover why air suction and air pleasure toys are the hottest new pleasure products on the market.

There are thousands of anal toys available in all sizes, shapes, colors, and textures. This category includes everything from anal beads to butt plugs to prostate massagers. “If you’re buying a butt toy, it should always have a flared base that is at least as wide as the largest part of the bulb or beads,” says Alicia Sinclair, a sex educator and founder of B-Vibe.

Using a sex toy can help couples close the orgasm gap, adds Deindorfer, which is the term used to describe the difference in frequency of orgasm when cis heterosexual women and cis heterosexual men have sex. Considering many vulva owners need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, bringing in a toy that does just that (and more!) can help ensure couples have a mutually satisfying sexperience. Before you start and make your decision you must know what your body needs. Do you want a toy to share sexual pleasure with your partner or to keep it only for yourself. What do you want to stimulate, what material to use