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An acquaintance asked me my age, and I responded without even thinking. Maybe it’s because I’m a liberal arts major and math is tricky, perhaps I just forgot, or maybe I’m an idiot. I am 38, which sounds older than I feel, at least most of the time.

You see—and I am addressing the creators of the Balldo when I say “you” here—inserting any kind of phallus into any kind of orifice requires some amount of force or leverage. We use our hips, our core, our arms, etc. to provide the force necessary to perform the penetrative sex that the Balldo is so hyperfixated on. Crops tend to deliver a more piercing/stinging sensation, whereas paddles are often referred to as “thuddy.” Floggers can be either, depending on the shape and brand. We’re grouping these three together since they’re all for impact play, but they are all very different devices. A flogger is a multi-tailed scourge (like a whip/lash) that’s typically made of soft leather.

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