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The first time I saw a Theragun, those personal massagers that look like a DeWalt and a jackhammer, had a baby, I guessed it was a sex toy. I am no weirdo or deviant, but if something has a battery and buzzes, it’s not an outrageous leap to think folks are using it to make their bathing suit areas light up like the 4th of July sky. Last winter, I told my pal Miguel that long backcountry tours were wreaking havoc on my hip flexors and IT bands. Miguel, a skier, surfer, and biker, has dealt with lower back issues for years. Then one day, his massage therapist whipped out a Theragun, and Miguel was in bliss. Miguel rushed home to tell his wife that Theraguns work wonders, and it had…ahem…made him feel like he was climbing the rope in gym class.

Dr. Maines posits that vibrators are inefficient motors