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“I don’t recommend classic police-style handcuffs, because they’re villus lined metal bar cuffs and could potentially cut one of the important veins near your wrist,” Finn says. This product slips over the base of the penis to limit how much of the penis is able to go inside the vagina during P-in-V intercourse. There’s also the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo, which can be used with a partner with a vulva for a hot shared experience. Dubbed the first “Guybrator,” this toy wraps around the penis and jacks it off using oscillation (or more specifically, something called “PulsePlate Technology”). For folks who are new to Ben Wa ball use, Finn recommends silicone balls, like the CalExotics Kegel-Training Strawberry Set or Satisfyer V Balls.

If you (or the person you’re having sex with) has a penis, you’re definitely going to want to add this stroker to your collection. The Arcwave Voy tightens around the penis to produce even more feel-good sensation during oral sex or foreplay. All you have to do is move it up and down the shaft and it’ll adjust to target specific pleasure sensors on the skin. Rief recommends this duo for couples interested in quiet, discreet foreplay. Depending on you and your partner’s bodies and preferences, you can customize this purchase with the option to buy two panty vibrators, two vibrating rings, or one of each to really spice things up.

When opening up a conversation about using a vibrator with a partner for the first time, start in a playful way. Some people have hesitant or even negative reactions to sex toys based on their own experiences. You might emphasize that vibrators can open you up to different sensations, fantasies, and positions. They are not a stand-in for another person—they simply enhance your time together, let you get to know each other better, and have some fun.

This C-shaped vibe is a favorite of certified sexologist Rihannon John. She loves that the We-Vibe Sync is known for being a great sex toy for long-distance play. “Its app allows partners to control vibrations globally, fostering intimate connections even when physically apart,” she says. There are a few ways you can use this powerful vibe, which has one non-vibrating and one vibrating side. For couples where both partners have vulvas, this can be used for penetrative sex