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They don’t think about themselves, they don’t think about what they want, and they definitely aren’t supposed to think about sex. Of all the silly and unreasonable expectations society puts on mothers, this one — the sex one —gets me the most. There’s nothing odd or wrong or unusual about being a sexual person before AND after you have kids. And yet, people get really, really weird about parents and sex toys — especially moms and sex toys. Consequently, a lot of parents don’t know where to find sex toys or how to use them. Fariello says to check the product description or packaging to ensure the toys are made from materials that are safe for the body such as silicone, glass or stainless steel.

“Typically, [a clit sucker] uses some form of pulsating airflow tech,” Fleming explains. While the sensation of using a clit-sucking vibrator can’t fully be mimicked with the body, it’s similar to if you were to suck (gently) on your partner’s clitoris. Clitoral vibrators are great for ramping up your partner’s pleasure during penetrative sex. During intercourse, they can hold a vibrator to their clitoris for an extra boost of stimulation—and maybe a delicious blended orgasm. Some vibrators are designed more for external clitoral stimulation (like the famous Hitachi Magic Wand), while others are specifically curved to target the G-spot—more on those in the next section. Corinne Sullivan is an Editor at Cosmopolitan, where she covers a variety of beats, including lifestyle, entertainment, relationships, shopping, and more.

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